Opinions on Machetes

If you, like me, are a rugged adventurer or something, you probably need a machete and, well, as it turns out, most stores have pretty bad ones and even some dangerous ones for sale.

So what makes a bad machete? Well I’ll use the atrocious Gerber Gator as an example, since it has everything I hate in a machete.

First, it has a partial tang (See diagram, apologies about the handwriting) which, isn’t terrible on a kitchen knife, but a machete is supposed to be for rough work, where you could be swinging at full strength into branches. With a partial tang, there’s a chance that the machete comes unattached from the handle, and if you’re swinging downwards, that would send you into your foot or leg, which would be very ungood.

Second, it’s got pretty low quality steel and bends real easy. I gave up on mine when it got some bends in the blade when I was cutting through Blackberries in Oregon. Pictures are some I took of one of coworkers Gerber Gators after working two days in Dense Chaparral (Which is probably one of the better tests for a machete). 

And Thirdly, well, this is a matter of opinion, but I hate the stupid fricking trend of putting sawbacks on machetes. I can cut through branches faster than I can saw through with that stupid sawblade. Just immobilize the branch and cut at opposing angles until you can break through with your boot. You’re not doing carpentry here, you don’t need an exact cut. The only thing they’ve ever done for me at work is fling blackberry vines into my face when they got caught on the sawblade. Plus, I’m a big fan of using the back of the blade to push things to the side and navigate when I don’t want to hack through things. Others do like the sawblades, but this is about my opinion, so I say they’re terrible. If you do want a sawblade though, there are other, non-dangerous options to choose.

So what kind of machete do I use? I have two machetes, both from Tramontina, one 22 inch with a plastic handle and an 18 inch with a wooden handle. I mostly use the 18 inch nowadays, as it’s much easier to crawl around with it on my belt or swing in cramped environments. The 22 does provide better reach if you’re trying to clear things overhead. Some of my coworkers don’t like my machetes and prefer short, heavy blades, helping them smash through the brush if they can’t get the right angle for a proper hit. Personally, I tend to think that they unnecessarily tire me out and weigh too much on your hip, and prefer my machete’s to be lighter and whipier,

So how to shop around for your machete? First off, going to a store might not be the best option, if you do, look at the side of the handle, if it has a full tang, you’ll often be able to see the tang in the handle. If you have a magnet, you could be able to feel it through the handle. I’ve also found better results in gardening equipment sections than in camping or sporting goods stores. When looking at reviews, make sure to check that the people are buying the machete for proper machete purposes, and not giving it 5 stars because it looks cool and they used it for some light work around the garden.

Now, finally, I want to end with a bit on philosophy of machete use. This is much more personal than the previous section, and there really is no right answer. A lot of people I know tend to hack a trail from point A to point B, which, while it does make an easy path to move along, takes a lot of extra time, takes a lot of extra effort, and requires more often machete sharpening. I tend to like only drawing my machete when I can’t progress any further in a direction, and only cut a hole big enough to drag myself and my equipment through. This method does require you wear thicker clothes, and as a consequence, my field clothes when I use a machete are a pair of double-walled Carpenter pants, and a long sleeve hiking shirts (Except Fridays, I’m a firm believer in Casual Friday and always wear a Hawaiian Shirt). This way I don’t get as bad of scrapes when I’m crawling through bramble. It’s a lot less tiring to do this, and I tend to be able to get places a lot faster than those who cut a path.